My wait to hold her in my arms came true and I loved the way she was on the first few days after her birth. She was soo tiny, her dress were soo cute, She fit only in her premies was a cute doll.. Of course she is a precious doll even now and will be my precious one forever.
I had to call my mom for help to change her clothes as she was so so tiny and I didn’t want to break her. I learned how to change her diapers right away but putting a onesie on her was a difficult task.
My postpartum was a little difficult, not easy like my birth. First I wasn’t producing milk and had to pump and store. Then I suffered from engorged boobs as the baby was not latching onto me properly, not drinking enough milk she was crying all day and I ended up with a paining breast not able to let the milk out. I wasn’t comfortable with the pumps and nipple shields. But she was comfortable only the use of nipple shield. So I had to adjust, Adjustments starts right from the time a heart starts to beats inside you.
In our Indian culture, we follow a tradition called “Punyavachanam” for purification and the “naming ceremony” to name the baby. That’s when the family is invited and the baby is shown to relatives. That’s also the baby’s first head bath at home after the hospital bath.
In recent studies, it’s proven that babies won’t need to be bathed in the first few months as their skin is sensitive and it contains vernix from the womb and it protects them from all the harmful bacteria. Giving a bath after a few days helps the vernix to be absorbed by the body and protecting the baby when getting accustomed to the new atmosphere.
She was given her first head bath by my mom and she was so cool baby on her head bath, she felt so relax and slept right away after her bath. We did pooja at home and named her “Akshara”. That’s why my blog has her first 2 letters.
I kept recording all her activities every month and started sending her pics to my brothers every month with a milestone note on it.
I must thank one of my best mom friends “Aswathy Gopalakrishnan” who was always available on WhatsApp to clear all my new mom doubts. She was a mom of 4 months boy then, Right now a fellow Mom blogger of a 2-year toddler.
The baby decided to pop out and see the world outside and say “Hello World”.
If you ever learned computer language your first code would be “Hello World”.
So I was in the nesting phase shopping baby essential items, sorting them and organizing them as days neared I was way more into nesting phase. It kept running in my mind this is where my baby is going to sleep, this is going to her naptime bed, her bottles,her night dress and day wears her diapers etc..
While the google named this as the “Nesting Phase” and it means the baby is going to be out soon.
In my case YES.
On a weekend we took my parents to a mall where they had to shop for their winter wears and for our Diwali purchase as the upcoming weekday was our festival of lights “DIWALI”. I was not comfortable walking, it was a wired feeling. I sat wherever I found a “chair”.
When we were back on our way home our car tyre was puncture but we safely reached home.The next day morning husband and I checked the tyres, the front tyre was punctured then called a mechanic.But they all wanted us to drop the vehicle to their service station.
Our plan for that day was to check our hospital and the route to the birthing center.As the tyres were punctured I went back to my room and felt a little drowsy, slept for 2-3 hours which was not me I am not a day time sleeper. I remember that was the last precious deep sleep till now.Or maybe the body prepared me for upcoming sleep less nights.😉
It was around 6 pm. My friends and brothers from India were messaging and wishing us for Diwali. It was flooding wishes and happy times. I was speaking to my brother that’s when I felt a sharp pain. I convinced myself thinking it could be Brackston Hicks
When I went to pee I found a pink reddish discharge,it was the mucus plug, I was on calls with my midwives. They told me about contractions and it’s intervals.
Yes, The contraction were sharp and it was on 4-1-1 intervals. Finally I was asked by my midwives to get checked. I was admitted as I was already 6 cm dialated and the baby was also low. I was happy and excited that finally the day came to hold my baby and kiss her tiny kicking feet.
Time came to give the hardest push for the baby’s head to pop out, her head was out and finally I hear her cry which woke me from my dizziness. I got to hold her body to body, she was sooo tiny and cute, I wish I took pics of those precious moments but it still lingers in my mind even today, when I hold her. Can’t believe they have grown so fast.
As soon as she was placed over me I touched her with my fingers,she soo tiny.. The minute I touched her she grabbed my fingers. Which was like mommy I Love You..
She was immediately taken for the checks by the pediatrics and I was stitched for tear. Then the regular checks for the baby and me was done.
P.S : She was born on Diwali. For Indians its festival of lights and for business people its the beginning of a new financial year and they pray to the goddess of Lakshmi for wealth.My little one is also my Goddess Lakshmi.
Keep checking my blog for the continuation of this journey into the motherhood.
The husband gifted me the “Circut Maker” for my birthday. Its a craft machine which cuts,scores,draws and many more.. Its the most precious gift for a person who enjoys designing, decorating.
I enjoyed playing with it,i made many greeting cards, wall decorations, and many theme based decorations. I have attached a few of my work with the machine.
I planned to decorate my baby’s room but was not getting enough ideas on how and where to start. I kept collecting papers, accessories but not the right idea.when I spoke with my mom she showed me a few pics of nursery wall decorations ..
The beautiful roses on a baby girl’s nursery is the perfect fit. I first picked just one flower, it became 2 then 3 and finally themed turned into a garden with colorful leaves and butterflies. My dad helped me arranging and sticking the flowers.As I hit the 9th month I was un able to bend down or stretch much.All I could and wanted to do is sit with support or walk. I needed everyone help in doing the minist day to day things.
It was a fun and family filled work. In the evenings we went stocking up the baby and mommy stuff and readying my hospital bag.
P.S : The featured image on the front page is her nursery room decoration.
Throughout my pregnancy journey I missed my Mom and Dad
Since we were in the US and I choosed to deliver in US due to the fear of C-section delivery in India. I had to sacrifice certain things for 9 months. My mom’s touch, her lap, her food, her music and her positiveness.My Dad’s support and soothing words.
And finally the day came my parents arrived, it was such a relief and felt I don’t have fear anymore. I got to enjoy my mom food,sat with my dad and cracked jokes with him.They were able to touch my belly and feel her kicks and movements.
Everyday I kept asking them about me as a baby and what were the funniest moments and how my brother’s enjoyed with me.Those memories are ever cherishing.Nothing can beat the life spent with your parents and my siblings.
Everyday we checked our old pics from my phone. “Thanks to Google”. And take long naps in the afternoon.
It was fall season my Mom is a nature lover, We went for a short to long walks almost everday and I enjoyed taking pics of the colorful leaves. Fall and it’s color are new for an Indian like me. We deal with summer the entire year.. The minimum temperature on a normal day would be 25℃ – 30℃. I have never seen leaves changing to beautiful colors.
In Indian movies when a protagonist falls in love with his diva for the first time, he express it as butterflies in tummy. As a kid I always wondered how is that, do they swallow a live butterfly or do butterflies grow in their tummy.
So I felt her first kicks around 16-17weeks which is little early according to internet.
I was talking to my mom and she was busy with her veena recording for a religious purpose. She immediately asked me to come on a video call and played the songs on her veena for me. The moment she plucked the string on the higher note I felt my little ones first kicks.. they were definitely butterfly flying inside.. The happiness I got is indescribable. So, whenever I wanted to feel her kicks / movements I used to play her the recordings. It worked few times.
I came to know my baby is able to hear whats happening around. I started listening to classical music / instruments, peaceful meditational music. I started reading meditational books which described the breathing techniques and how I have to prepare my mind for labor. As labor is all about mind, confidence, endurance and patience.
Her kicks were more regular the time I sat for breakfast, More visible when I went to bed. It was like a Goodnight wishes from her.
Her kicks became stronger and more visible in the upcoming weeks. On a weekend evening I craved for mexican food and so went to a restaurant ordered a few spicy food .. I couldnt finish it due to my heartburns but came home with a satisfied taste buds. Her kicks were more strong that night, I felt sorry for her. Not knowing if it was due to dislike or likes. She was kicking and moving a lot.. I drank cool water and didn’t know what else to do… But today this little one enjoys things that are spicy.Maybe she liked the meal..
From that day till she turned One. I was unable to eat anything spicy, slowly I am getting back my taste buds.
The second ultra sound was around 24 weeks. This is to check baby physical development and measurements.
I didn’t had to fill my bladder and suffer. Again a morning appointment the same sonograper and the same room.. I was more excited to see how my little one looked with a more matured development,her eyelids weren’t formed she resembled as an owlet. I felt she was more on me as her hands and legs were thin and long.
This is when we come to know the gender, my instincts and wishes came true. It was a girl and this is something I wished for, my husband asked me why? I don’t have an answer.. Its may be they are the true symbol of love and affection. On the other side my husband wanted a boy.. he was soo soo sure it’s going to be a boy. I don’t think my heart would have accepted that, atleast for that day.
The baby was more active and kicking during the ultrasound , the sonographer told me I will have tough time bringing this little one up. My little one is 17 months now, her words are Ture. It has been the rollercoaster ride for me. I have been handling her as a single mother (only financial support but no physical or emotional support from the partner ).
Ultrasound are made at 12 weeks and 24 weeks to check the growth. I would say it is a gift to curiosity filled people like me. Right from my childhood, I enjoyed my Biology class. I was curious to know what’s happening inside my body ,more interested in learning organs and right now more interested to know what’s in my tummy and where is the baby exactly.
So, I booked the appointment. Since my partner shows 100% attendance to his office , he choosed an early morning as he could go to office after the scan.And I also feel fresh in the morning.
With reference from a mani rathnam movie my husband came to know the bladder has to be full before a scan. The day came my husband kept telling me drink lots of water, your bladder must be full before the scan so we took a bottle of water.. I so uncomfortable, my excitement this time was like when can I use the toilet. Inside the ultrasound office, the partner showed me a sign board stating bladder must be full.. I felt like I must make him drink atleast half of this bottle and make him sit for just 1 hour.. As a partner in crime he must also participate in these.
My turn came, the sonograper called me and was checking me, she said she was unable to see the baby and I was looking nervous, my nervousness were what if she puts pressure on my bladder. She stopped and asked me what’s your problem is your bladder too full?
This gave me a relief, she laughed and said for these scans we don’t suggest a full bladder.. please use the restroom.. And feel comfortable.
Ahhh.. the relief after I peed was immeasurable, Then we saw the active baby. Though her features weren’t fully formed we were able to see her hands, kicking legs,very fast beating heart heard hertbeat fod the first time. It was like an untuned radio station sound.
While thinking of names we planned it could be akash vani for a girl and aakash if it’s a boy. Nickname was Radio potti (radio box).
We came back with an empty water bottle😀,empty bladder but my heart was filled with happiness and the brain filled with oxytocin (it a natural reaction in the body happens when you are happy or peaceful).
P.S : I knew it’s going to be a girl. Her hands, legs were more girly or its again my instinct in action. I felt she resembled my mother, I am happy when people say she resembles her Grandma.
Every morning I checked my tummy and it made joy.. (which never happens, I was always a flat tummy person and enjoyed when I get a flat tummy.. According to Ayurveda and yoga if you have flat tummy your body is functioning well. So I didn’t like when my tummy bulges even after a heavy meal).
Though I knew bump shows off only after 4 months my curiosity was to know where will the baby be right now , what will it be doing can it hear me,feel my body ?
So 4 months passed by my skin started itching, my belly area was more itchy, I tried a few ho e remedies which gave me few minutes of relief..
In the progressing weeks I started noticing ” The Bump “.
It was a little hard to touch not like the flabby tummy fat, I never knew it will be taking even more time for the muffin top to disappear.
The joyful trip and adventurous trip came to an end,we landed in Seattle.
2 days after I took a home pregnancy test and was jumping out of joy in the bathroom when I found the 2 lines. Couldn’t stop my happiness called the partner in crime and showed the same… We both were unable to utter a word.A few moments of silence were our expressions.
All I knew was I could be pregnant, we were on our 5th anniversary trip, my inner instincts were telling me I could be pregnant right from the time the plane took off to Hawaii, I enjoyed the trip to the fullest,ate without any restrictions, travelled a lot ,touched the sunshine, breathed fresh air.
One of the first few symptoms were I was drowsy a little,slighty pukish feeling with certain food smell. I convinced myself starting it could be jetlag.